Best Rum Cake Ever

1 or 2 qt. rum
1 c. butter
2 large eggs
1 c. dried fruit
1 c. nuts
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. soda
1/2 pt. lemon juice
1 c. brown sugar
1 tsp. sugar

Before you start, sample the rum for quality, good isn't it? Now go ahead, select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check rum again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.... with an electric mixer beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl, add 1 tsp of thugar and beat again.

Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the highest quality, try another cup. Open second bottle if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit, and beat until high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry loose with a scredriver. Sample the rum again, checking for tonsistency. Next sift 3 cups peppter or salt, (it doesn't really matter which), and sample the rum again. Sift 1/2 pink of lemon juice, fold in chipped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find, wix mell. Crease oven and turn cake dan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake. Check the rum again and bo to ged.

Howard Bullock